


four in the morning

by prettyoddity



Series: intertwined. [7]
Category: SEVENTEEN (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Drabble, Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Late Night Conversations, Late Night Writing, M/M, Nightmares, hi omfg
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-24
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-08-28 17:47:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16728069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prettyoddity/pseuds/prettyoddity
Summary: “I’m so happy that it’s you.”(just some short angsty but soft soonhoon i felt like writing at 12am)





	four in the morning

**Author's Note:**

> YEAH NIGHTMARES CLICHÉ I KNOW BUT WHAT CAN I SAY IM DOWN FOR ANYTHING AS LONG AS I CAN TURN IT INTO SOONHOON.....
> 
> also hey im back after disappearing for like. 3 months. no updates . sorry readers life has just been a bitch. this work is self-indulgent, it shud be obvious by now that all the works in this series are hhh
> 
> sorry for mistakes in advance i barely edited this and wrote it in like 50mins whoops
> 
> enjoy <3

_“Jihoon, please, let’s talk—”_

_“—Soonyoung, I think we’ve talked enough.”_

 

_That day, Jihoon had called Soonyoung over at the former’s studio._

 

 _Soonyoung didn’t really think anything of it but the usual, so he went over with high spirits, looking forward to give his_ ~~_boyfriend_~~ _…_ bandmate _, rather, opinions on his music. Maybe, if Jihoon wasn’t feeling too snappy, they could even cuddle while working and maybe take a nap in each other’s arms after a while. Soonyoung’s heart leaps at the idea._

 

_You see, there’s kind of a thin line between ‘friends and coworkers’ and ‘committed boyfriends’ in their currently unlabeled relationship. Soonyoung knows that Jihoon doesn’t like to talk about it. So, he simply respects his decision._

 

_(Soonyoung hopes that Jihoon knows he isn’t someone who can wait for him forever, although he wishes he were.)_

 

_That’s why Soonyoung is surprised upon seeing Jihoon standing outside the studio, probably waiting for him._

 

_Soonyoung runs up in front of him with a smile. “Hey.”_

_Jihoon visibly sighs. “Look, Soonyoung. I’m going to make this quick and simple for the both of us— let’s stop this.”_

_Soonyoung stills, his smile disappearing, eyes now with a glint of worry and confusion in them. “W-What? Are you okay, Jihoonie?”_

_“That doesn’t matter right now. What I’m trying to tell you is that_ this _,” Jihoon says, vaguely gesturing to the space between them, “Is just..._ nothing _. It’s never going to work— you and I.”_

 

 _Soonyoung feels his heart sink. He can feel his hands tremble, his head get light, chest heavy— but he only thinks of Jihoon, Jihoon,_ Jihoon _— where did he go wrong? Was Soonyoung not trying hard enough? Was he not doing his best? What did he lack that made him fail to show how much he loved Jihoon?_

 

 _Or maybe, was he just being_ too much _after all?_

 

 _Soonyoung wants to cry, but no tears come out. Just a harsh breath and a small whimper. “Y-You say that but you haven’t e-even given this_ nothing _a chance.”_

_Jihoon’s eyes don’t meet his, but the coldness in his voice is evident. “I just know it. I know myself. I know this will end up in anything but good.”_

_“You can never be too sure of yourself!” Soonyoung almost yells, and he swears he saw Jihoon flinch a little. “I’m_ here _. Whatever you think of this can and_ will _change if you let yourself, Jihoon. I want to make you a better version of yourself, even if I…” Soonyoung trails off, feeling his eyes sting now. “E-Even if I still love you the way you are now.”_

_Jihoon doesn’t reply, turning his back on him and facing the door. “I’ve heard enough. You can’t change my mind.”_

_“Jihoon, please, let’s talk—”_

_“—Soonyoung, I think we’ve talked enough.”_

 

_Those words alone send Soonyoung’s tears flowing down freely. “Jihoon, y-you know I love you, but you’re r-really hurting me,” he breathes out, almost chuckling in disbelief. “If you could look at m-me right now, I am making a complete fool out of myself. A-And I’m thinking, ‘Hey, that’s okay. I d-don’t mind at all that Jihoon is seeing this side of me. I’m willing to show him anything. The rawest, purest, unfiltered Soonyoung. I want him to see h-how terrible a person I actually am. And I w-want him to know that he’s the reason I believe I can be a better person. I want to make him accept me and l-love me for who I am with all my ugly flaws, just as I do with him, and at the same time, m-maybe we could fix each other,” Soonyoung sobs, the lump in his throat failing his voice. “But I guess I had never been so wrong in my life… I-I just want one answer, Jihoon. J-Just one, and it will be okay.”_

_Jihoon slowly turns around. “What is it?” he asks quietly._

 

_“...Why? Why not, Jihoon?”_

 

_“Because… because I’m scared. It’s risky. We share careers, and there are millions of people watching us and counting on us. I’m afraid all we can do is hide away from everyone. If that’s what this love is going to be, what then? Is it even love at all?”_

 

_The last thing Soonyoung remembers is black, and a white noise._

 

The first thing Soonyoung registers after regaining consciousness is the constricting feeling in his chest.

 

Next, he realizes he’s laying down on a bed, probably, in a dim room. He can make out a few features around him, but he’s not sure he can recognize them, due to the tears blurring his eyes— oh. He’s crying.

 

He feels the weight of the bed ever so slightly shift beside him. There’s a painfully familiar voice calling “Soonyoung?” and suddenly, the warm hand against his cheek wiping his tears away makes him feel somewhat safe and better.

 

“Oh, baby,” the deep, comforting voice calls, and he feels more warmth move next to him, by his side. “It breaks my heart to see you cry. Tell me what’s wrong, please?”

 

Soonyoung feels his hands being held by the person, intertwining their fingers fittingly. Before he realizes it, his eyes are open, and all he can see is Jihoon.

 

His dark hair’s a mess and there’s a frown on his face, looking down at him with a concerned expression. The room isn’t lighted, and there’s probably some drool stained on his chin, but Soonyoung thinks he looks just as beautiful as ever.

 

The latter wails even harder, sitting up to waste no time in attaching his body to his, the intoxicating warmth taking over him. His face is buried upon Jihoon’s firm chest, one arm thrown around his waist and the other by his shoulder. Jihoon smells like fabric softener, and Soonyoung melts into the touch when the smaller wraps his arms around him, kissing the top of his head.

 

Soonyoung feels the mildly violent shaking of his body from the sobs die down after a few moments of him trying to focus on just Jihoon. His body heat, his homely scent, the soothing circular motions he’s making on his back. Soonyoung takes all of it in and he simply feels… _loved_.

 

“J-Jihoonie…”

“Hm?”

“I h-had a bad dream.”

Jihoon exhales softly, and Soonyoung can feel him gently tread his fingers through his hair. “So I figured.”

Soonyoung unconsciously tightens his hold on Jihoon. “I’m so s-scared, Jihoon.”

Jihoon places another kiss on the top of his head. “That’s okay. Do you mind telling me?”

“I… I-I dreamt of the day you called me to your studio,” he sniffles, muffled against Jihoon’s chest. “The day you confessed to me. Except… Except, i-in my dream, you h-had completely turned me down.”

Jihoon frowns, removing Soonyoung’s arms from his torso and lifting his head up to look at him. He looks a mess— hair tousled, eyes sore, and cheeks tear-stained— but Jihoon loves him all the same. They sit properly opposite each other now, Soonyoung not looking as tiny as before. Jihoon extends his body up to kiss his boyfriend’s forehead this time. “I didn’t do that, okay? I never will.”

“I-It’s not really just that,” Soonyoung mutters, almost inaudibly, looking down at his lap, but Jihoon hears, because of the proximity of their bodies.

 

Jihoon opens his mouth to ask again, but Soonyoung beats him to it. “Y-You rejected me, saying we wouldn’t work out. I g-got frustrated and started crying, went on about how much I love you and h-how you make me want to become a better person. But… But you t-told me it was because you were scared. Afraid of hiding, b-but afraid of people finding out,” he whispers, bottom lip trembling. “Afraid of loving.”

“I’m not scared because I have you, Soonyoung,” Jihoon says lowly, pulling him into another embrace. “I can do anything if I’m with you.”

“I-I know,” Soonyoung whispers, as Jihoon nuzzles against his collarbones. “I know. It’s just… I’ve been denying it f-for a long time— my fears. I wanted to be strong for t-the both of us, but I g-guess I’ve finally broke. I know that the fears that dream-you were telling dream-me are actually mine. My dream self projected my fears onto me. T-That’s kinda funny,” he sniffles.

Jihoon shakes his head against his chest. “You are very brave, Soonyoung-ah. You’re one of the strongest persons I know. You never let anyone see how much of a hard time you have trying to keep everything together under control. But let’s face it,” Jihoon says, pulling away to meet his gaze. “You can’t keep doing this forever. I’m here for you to tell me anything and everything. Your problems are mine, your happiness is mine— I want us to share everything. We will fight for each other and keep on trying. I want you to understand that, okay?” Jihoon asks, gently holding Soonyoung’s face in his hand and caressing his cheeks with his thumbs.

 

Soonyoung nods, biting his lip to prevent anymore tears from falling. Jihoon can only smile fondly, before kissing him on the nose. “I love you, you idiot.”

“I love you so much, Jihoonie. I’m so happy that it’s you.”

“Me too. Also, it’s alright to cry,” he laughs quietly. Soonyoung nods again, letting the last few of his tears fall again, letting Jihoon wipe them away, before he kisses his closed eyelids. “Let’s go back to sleep, yeah?”

Soonyoung hums in response, lying back down and opening his arms. “Sleep while laying on top of me, please? Like a baby?”

“I’m heavy, and I am a full grown adult, mind you.”

“No, you’re Jihoon,” Soonyoung jokes, and the other has to playfully roll his eyes. “You’re Jihoonie and you’re small and warm. Soonyoung likes warm! Please?” he begs. “You aren’t heavy at all. It comforts me.”

“But you’ll wake up all sore from the weight later.”

“I don’t care. Please~?”

“Well, I care. Let’s spoon for now and we can do that another time. I don’t want you to wake up uncomfortable.”

Soonyoung pouts. “Okay,” he says, complying as he becomes the little spoon, not caring about their difference in statures.

 

“Okay,” Jihoon smiles, placing his chin on Soonyoung’s shoulder. “Good night, even if it’s four in the morning.”

Soonyoung turns around to place a quick peck on his lips, then goes back to original position, leaning into his boyfriend contentedly. “Mm, good night.”

**Author's Note:**

> hm. when i reread this in the morning i feel like it wont be as great as i thought it out to be in my hazy midnight state.
> 
> (edit 7 hr later: ITS NOT AS GREAT AS I THOUGHT IT OUT TO BE)
> 
> but yay! thank u hope u liked it. maybe leave something idk my inbox has been very dry for a long time due to not posting but words of encouragement always help!
> 
> i'm writing something very interesting rn so i wrote this to take a break (also maybe to inform u all that yes im still writing and breathing) !!! that one won't be out for some time and i'm gonna focus on that a lot bc it's v important so pLSSS look forward to it i love u
> 
> life has been Hard and im trying to get back into writing again because i couldnt write at all with all the things ive been busy with so this is prob still poor quality zzzz but holidays are nearing so maybe u can expect a few more updates before the year ends yay!!!
> 
> hmu on twitter @prlnceksy for slightly eventful life updates and spazzing


End file.
